Friday, December 21, 2007

Running scared...

On Wed., I did the 60 minute yoga class I had planned on...I really enjoy yoga now. I'm in a solid beginner's class, so *everyone* gets corrected and the instructor is really nice and almost discreet about it, so that makes me feel better. Also, she was correcting my "warrior 1" pose and someone else's "tree" pose, so we all get some help and i'm learning, and..i'm okay with that! They do have a level 2 class, but I am just now getting the "balancing" down for level 1, so i'm going to stick with that. The only mildly irritating thing is, I had a different instructor on Wed. who really likes to emphasize the "innnnhaaaaaale, exhaaaale." Which, most instructors will say it, but she almost says "inhal" not "hale" it's like "inhaaaaal" and she doesn't have a regular speaking accent, so i'm like "where'd the accent come from in your yogi words?". Random Mer thought, I know.

On my 45 minute run...(does that count as a brick? yoga and then a run? hehe). I began to wonder why i'm not a fast runner, or really, what is preventing me from really letting it rip. Part of it is, I haven't gotten my asthma fully checked out. I have a wimpy inhaler for irregular use and it is actually empty and not exactly useful anyway. So, I need to figure that out before the season. That aside. I realized, why....i've been "running scared." I explained to Dave that before each run, I have a goal of a "time," that I want to run, whatever it is, lately they've been 40 minutes. 45 is my longest since Ironman. So, when I set a time, I want to finish in that time, and usually if I run anything less than an 8:40 mile i'm annoyed. I'm very happy if I run in the 8:30 range, but if I slip out of the 8:45 range, i'm irritated and I feel that the run was unsuccessful. Why? I don't know. I don't have an answer to that.

My fear of doing tempo runs/hills and fartlek's--I think I don't enjoy these because I have to come out of my comfort zone (surprise!) and if I have to run faster at some portions, what if I don't finish my run in the time that I wanted...what if I run out of energy and can't finish my run. How rediculous is that? But, I think it's true, I think i've psychologically told myself that i'm not "meant" to run faster.

I know this sounds nuts. When I start thinking negatively about running, I need to remember. When I started triathlon 3 years ago, I ran around a 9:40 mile. How did I start running more efficiently, how did I improve to run in the "eights" as I call it? By doing track work outs, having someone watch my stride, and learning that actually "striding" instead of shuffling like I always have, requires less effort. I was able to come out of my comfort zone and learn better running skills.

So, what happened? Why am I in a rut? Who knows, but this "off season," i'm hoping to pull out of it and stop obsessing out "times" and "speeds" and learn how to run more efficiently and learn how to "breathe" while running. I think learning is cool (as long as it doesn't involve math, i'm okay with it =0).

Happy Holidays!!

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

I think I just figured out my password and hopefully will get a comment back to you. As always I'm impressed with your tenacity. I'm thinking maybe I should try yoga .. what do you think? Do they have a sub beginner class for senior citizens?