Thursday, March 13, 2008 beautiful....

Remember that movie?? ...well, it occurred to me today as I was driving around on my day off (day off from training that is, ohhh how AWESOME It is to drink a chai latte at 3:00 in the afternoon without worrying about a bathroom stop in the middle of my run!) truly special life is-and it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving or a major holiday to remind myself how lucky I am to be able to find the good things in life. My feelings started last week when my friend Di had her first baby--a baby girl--and all the cool, awesome things that come with having kids (so I hear!), and it's just great to see your friends and family so happy. Then, this weekend, my friend Lauren sent the cutest on-line pictage of her little boy Jack---just precious. It makes me thankful that I get to see my friends and family at all stages in their lives. It feels like just yesterday Lauren and I were at JMU eating her famous "macaroni and cheese with breadcrumbs". I remember thinking she was so awesome that she knew to bake the mac n' cheese with breadcrumbs, how special =0. My friend Jill got to spend a night with her sister who lives in North Carolina--her sister flew to Minneapolis for the night. My friend Jena is busy planning the fun parts of her wedding. And then, my friend Mara got word that her husband may be able to come home early from his deployment (he was deployed for 6 months, home for 6 months and he left again).

I realize that I truly enjoy watching other people be happy. Then, today, as I was driving around, I was reminded of the truly gorgeous days we have here in Southern California and yes, how very lucky I feel to be living here.

Sure, there are parts of my life that could use improvement--mostly relating to how very much I miss my family and my close friends from college and high school--but living in Southern California has really been a gift---something that I never expected in my life and it's given me a chance to finish my masters degree and find happiness in triathlon. With Dave being in the Navy, we'll be here another 2 1/2 years and then after that, there is very little guarantee's, but i'm ok with that.

I'm trying to live in the "now," which is hard to do as a military family to some degree, because you're always surrounded by people coming and going and people asking "where do you want to go next." We have some friends who are forever saying "in three years our kids will be grown," or "in a few months, this one will be in school," and it's as though they're wishing these moments away. Sure there are moments in my life that I wish would go really fast (having Dave in residency working 80 hours a week with studying on top of it doesn't make for easy "hanging out,"). Here is how I used to think:

When Dave was in Iraq, I used to say:
"If he could just be home, safe and I could give him a hug and he could just go to a regular job and be HERE, my life would be perfect."

When I was training for Ironman I used to say:
"If I could just do one Ironman it'll be the culmination of my triathlon gig and I won't have to push myself for other triathlon goals."

When Dave was applying to anesthesia residency I used to say:
"If he could just get residency life would be a-ok

When Dave didn't get residency the first time around and he left again for deployment, I used to wish
"Just let him get into residency and let us stay in San Diego and i'll be happier,"

When we were moving to San Diego I used to say:
"If I can just finish my master's degree and work for a while before having to leave again, life would be perfect"

So...what happened? Well, we're still here in San Diego, Dave is in anesthesia residency and I finished my masters degree, did my Ironman and i'm training for another one and now i'm working so my life is perfect right? Not a chance...but, thoughts like this have given me some perspective. We're always wishing for things to go a certain way and for our lives to be easier. But, i'm trying not to look at life that way. I want to live in the "now," and not live my life as an "if, then" statement.

I write because even though I consider myself a positive person, it's really easy for me to get brought down by...oh, say---the three jerks that i've had to swim with at the pool, or the guy who was driving down the wrong lane at Target and screaming at ME or more specific things like the upcoming election.

I'm writing this because I need to remind MYSELF that i'm pretty lucky and just to stop and be thankful that I have a lot of good things in my life and not get boggled down by the nasty stuff.......

Rock on!


Anonymous said...

You're right Mer! Life is good to us... keep staying positive and keep loving life and the many things is gives you! love, Cole

Lauren said...

Hey! I liked that post - I also liked the Jack shout-out :) Thanks! You are always so positive and a pleasure to read! I can't wait to see you in May.

Christie said...

Mer, you have always had such a positive outlook on things - your posts really make me put things in perspective (esp. this one)! Love reading about your endeavors and your thoughts - I'm cheering for you! -Woo

Kir said...

A few days behind in reading but I did enjoy your post. It's always such a pleasure to read your thoughts and you are is beautiful! Love you!