Friday, May 8, 2009

Not dead!!

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I blogged! It was so cute to see everyone's comments about "keep blogging, you're not boring!".....I guess when I was training it was a huge source of relief to just write about my everyday thoughts and since i'm not training anymore and I find myself with more thoughts along the lines of "is this lemonade too sugary for the baby".....I guess I don't want to inundate my blog with baby thoughts...but the truth is, that's where i'm at right now and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I was talking to my sister the other day about training, she was going to do the Boulder Long Course again this year and opted to just stick with the sprint and olympic distance, part of her reasoning it's just really hard with three kids under five to justify going out on those five hour rides and she wants exercise/training to be FUN, she doesn't want to dread it and waking up at 5:00 to swim and then scooting kids around all day and then trying to fit in an evening workout, she was just plain exhausted last year, she had an awesome season of racing, but she wants to find a better balance between "training" and not missing out on things that are important to her family. I tend to agree, I see a lot of "triathlon or running" parents who, in my own personal opinion spend way too much time at their "own" races than just chilling out with their kids on the weekend. (Pro's excluded =0)...I want Plus One to grow up watching his dad and I race...I think that is SUPER cool, on the other hand, I don't want to be that mom who brings her bike trainer to the soccer game and rides the trainer while my son plays soccer (trust me i've heard of people who do this!). There are sacrifices that you make as a parent (so i'm told =0) and honestly, that's the way it should be---you decide to have children and there are things that come second, because your kids are really only little for such a short amount of time (before they start school) and I don't want to spend Saturdays frustrated because "potty training" isn't going well because I was gone on a ride for four hours......that just sounds odd to me!

This doesn't mean you give up YOU....it just takes a little bit of finagling to fit YOU in to the picture a little more creatively.

I've said before on my blog that I never expected to fall in love with triathlon, or to enjoy it, or even become remotely decent at it....I just did it because I wanted to see how far I could go.......am I "done" with triathlon?? No.......but, after the baby comes, I don't want to put unrealistic expectations on myself as far as what I will have time for. I want to have FUN with sports, and at the same time, I want to be there for my son!

Having said that, there was a bittersweet moment when I was cleaning up my bike to send it off to my sister for the summer (and I wouldn't have it any other way, what on earth would my tri bike be doing other than sitting in the garage..that bike is HOT and deserves to be ridden!)........I got a little choked up, not because of the BIKE....but, I knew at that moment that things were changing....for the most awesome of reasons--but it is still a change. Kind of closing the triathlon chapter for a bit........And anyone who knows me very well is that I have a very difficult time with change. Maybe it's because all the major decisions I make in my life I weigh very heavily, so when I make a change, it's one that i've sat on for a long time. And once I decide to make a change, I very rarely look back. In fact, I have a difficult time "looking back," like I don't even enjoy going back to my Alma Matter, JMU, because to me, it just feels different, I had an amazing four years there, but once I left, I cried my eyes out and then that was that...I moved forward.

This doesn't mean I won't ever do another Ironman =0....it just means I need time to just let life happen....I don't like doing something 10%, and if I did Ironman soon after a baby, I really don't think I could put enough time into both so I felt like I was doing a great job either way. I know people do it...but for me.....I think i'd rather try out some half ironmans before returning to Ironman...see how that training goes.

So..where does this leave me with thoughts of sports for post-baby? My goal is to search for that inner "runner" in me if that is possible. I think I was on the cusp of some really great running while training for Ironman, but because I was balancing swimming and biking, I couldn't really focus 100% on running. SO, my goal for post-baby for now is: January 2010-Carlsbad 1/2 marathon, and then i'd like to run Rock N Roll San Diego in June 2010......my ultimate goal is to qualify for Boston and if i'm just focusing on running, I think I can do it....especially with Dave spectacting and holding Plus One while I run =0.

And on a Plus One note..he is MOVING! It's been the most amazing thing ever, seeing my stomach move and he's just bouncing around in there! My last appointment, the nurse said "wow! you have a crazy baby in there" (then again, most people I know tell me their baby is "crazy" so I think most babies are pretty active!??)...i'm doing great....I will admit, running has ceased. Here's why:
1. My legs feel like 100 pounds and just with the extra pounds, running is NOT fun
2. I started to get frustrated with my stamina (lack thereof) and decided it wasn't worth it to run/walk for 90 minutes and complete 4 miles =0.
3. Running a 12:00 minute mile.....really, I might as well just walk

So......I am proud (or slightly embarassed) to say that I walked my dogs in our new neighborhood for 35 minutes and the next day the outside of my butt absolutely KILLED. HA! So much for muscle memory =0. I will say the move knocked the crap out of me, I didn't realize that just because I wasn't lifting, that I would be wiped out. My legs and feet were throbbing by the end of the day. I didn't expect to feel this way until I was really big!

I realize now, that I can't move at warp speed like i'm used to..and it's OK...it's ok to take breaks......and just walk when I feel like it....and just to drink more water and try to just take it easy. That is very.....very difficult for me...especially when I read stories about people doing half marathons at 30 weeks pregnant.......dude, I can't even walk 2 miles without my legs/feet swelling, I can't imagine RUNNING that far at this point. I totally thought i'd be that super active pregnant woman, but i'm still active, it's just not quite the 2-3 hour training session that i'm used to!

I'm 23 weeks today and doing great!! Now that i've gotten all this off my chest i'm going to go walk!!! =0 There I said it i'm officially a "walker" and "elliptical" person...d'oh!!

7 comments:

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Mer! I LOVE reading your posts... :) Hello? You need to post about baby clothes shopping! Okay - um, I see compression socks in your future. Seriously - that will help. AND, I call it "elliptiscizing" - makes it sound a little more serious. So by that not - "walkiscizing" - hee hee hee. Perhaps...

I'm happy the move went well! That's great! But yeah - moving is HARD either way you look at it.

I LOVE your running plan - I think that's awesome. AND you can totally take Plus One in a baby jogger with you. A lot better than putting him in day care at the pool or riding the trainer next to the crib. And knowing you and dave - Plus One will be VERY active! :)

Okay - this comment is like, as long as your post. Sorry! Let's get together soon!!! HUGS and love your way!

Jacqi said...

Mer - I'm an Ironman triathlete and 11 1/2 weeks pregnant, and this has been a struggle of a time for me to realize I can't do what I was doing before I got pregnant! There are TONS of times I look back to the winter and wish I had taken some more (cold) rides since now I know I won't get to enjoy riding outdoors like I used to for quite some time.

And the running - ugh, don't get me started. I ran this morning for the first time with our training group in 6 wks since we've found out (we're finally telling everyone) and instead of the usual 4.5 mile Friday morning run, it was a slow 3 miles. It didn't help that it was humid, either, with the darn overheating. However, another gal in our group is 19 weeks pregnant so at least there's two of us figuring out together.

In a few weeks I'll get to start blogging about my endeavors of a pregnant endurance athlete (work doesn't know yet!) - I hope you enjoy my stories too! (www.j-trialbyfire.blogspot.com)

And BTW, I am getting SICK of the elliptical! It reminds me of when I was injured before Ironman and couldn't run...what a drag.

Jennifer Yake Neuschwander said...

Mer ...you rock. You are going to be a super mom. Priorities change and I think it's the challenge we are all drawn to anyway. It's all relative. Based on what I have seen around SD it's seems like people get faster after they have kids. You'll probably be one of them...if you only have an hour to train you'll just go that much faster. Happy Mother's Day BTW

Shan said...

Happy almost-Mother's Day Mer!! Yaaaaaaay! Now I can send you flowers every year on Mothers Day! :-D

As I read this post, I couldn't help but smile and nod at everything you wrote. It takes a person with a good head on their shoulders to realize that you can't be ME ME ME after you have a baby. It's definitely hard to make these big changes and realize that what was important in your life "then" won't be the same as "now" or the "future". You're going to be an AMAZING Mom, and I'm sure PlusOne will appreciate you being there for every step of the way...My Mom basically stopped her life for my sister and I, and I am thankful for her support every single day...

Love you!! Can't wait to see you (and your new place!!! :-D xoxo

ADC said...

I am glad to read that all is going well and you seem so happy with the life as it is right now, which is great. Lovely post.

Jennifer Harrison said...

Mer! SO glad you posted and you are doing so well. HA! Sore from walking, I do recall those days, when I waddled carrying the kids! 23 weeks! WOO! HOPE the move went ok (albeit tiring) and you are doing well!

Trigirlpink said...

Oh boy... I am a blogging slacker myself. Time to keep each other on the ball, deal? Glad you are doing well and nice to share with your sis! Before you know it, you'll be done cookin' that cutie bun in the oven and back to your old training self and rippin' it up on the running. :-)