I can't believe it's been almost a month since I blogged! It was so cute to see everyone's comments about "keep blogging, you're not boring!".....I guess when I was training it was a huge source of relief to just write about my everyday thoughts and since i'm not training anymore and I find myself with more thoughts along the lines of "is this lemonade too sugary for the baby".....I guess I don't want to inundate my blog with baby thoughts...but the truth is, that's where i'm at right now and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I was talking to my sister the other day about training, she was going to do the Boulder Long Course again this year and opted to just stick with the sprint and olympic distance, part of her reasoning it's just really hard with three kids under five to justify going out on those five hour rides and she wants exercise/training to be FUN, she doesn't want to dread it and waking up at 5:00 to swim and then scooting kids around all day and then trying to fit in an evening workout, she was just plain exhausted last year, she had an awesome season of racing, but she wants to find a better balance between "training" and not missing out on things that are important to her family. I tend to agree, I see a lot of "triathlon or running" parents who, in my own personal opinion spend way too much time at their "own" races than just chilling out with their kids on the weekend. (Pro's excluded =0)...I want Plus One to grow up watching his dad and I race...I think that is SUPER cool, on the other hand, I don't want to be that mom who brings her bike trainer to the soccer game and rides the trainer while my son plays soccer (trust me i've heard of people who do this!). There are sacrifices that you make as a parent (so i'm told =0) and honestly, that's the way it should be---you decide to have children and there are things that come second, because your kids are really only little for such a short amount of time (before they start school) and I don't want to spend Saturdays frustrated because "potty training" isn't going well because I was gone on a ride for four hours......that just sounds odd to me!
This doesn't mean you give up YOU....it just takes a little bit of finagling to fit YOU in to the picture a little more creatively.
I've said before on my blog that I never expected to fall in love with triathlon, or to enjoy it, or even become remotely decent at it....I just did it because I wanted to see how far I could go.......am I "done" with triathlon?? No.......but, after the baby comes, I don't want to put unrealistic expectations on myself as far as what I will have time for. I want to have FUN with sports, and at the same time, I want to be there for my son!
Having said that, there was a bittersweet moment when I was cleaning up my bike to send it off to my sister for the summer (and I wouldn't have it any other way, what on earth would my tri bike be doing other than sitting in the garage..that bike is HOT and deserves to be ridden!)........I got a little choked up, not because of the BIKE....but, I knew at that moment that things were changing....for the most awesome of reasons--but it is still a change. Kind of closing the triathlon chapter for a bit........And anyone who knows me very well is that I have a very difficult time with change. Maybe it's because all the major decisions I make in my life I weigh very heavily, so when I make a change, it's one that i've sat on for a long time. And once I decide to make a change, I very rarely look back. In fact, I have a difficult time "looking back," like I don't even enjoy going back to my Alma Matter, JMU, because to me, it just feels different, I had an amazing four years there, but once I left, I cried my eyes out and then that was that...I moved forward.
This doesn't mean I won't ever do another Ironman =0....it just means I need time to just let life happen....I don't like doing something 10%, and if I did Ironman soon after a baby, I really don't think I could put enough time into both so I felt like I was doing a great job either way. I know people do it...but for me.....I think i'd rather try out some half ironmans before returning to Ironman...see how that training goes.
So..where does this leave me with thoughts of sports for post-baby? My goal is to search for that inner "runner" in me if that is possible. I think I was on the cusp of some really great running while training for Ironman, but because I was balancing swimming and biking, I couldn't really focus 100% on running. SO, my goal for post-baby for now is: January 2010-Carlsbad 1/2 marathon, and then i'd like to run Rock N Roll San Diego in June 2010......my ultimate goal is to qualify for Boston and if i'm just focusing on running, I think I can do it....especially with Dave spectacting and holding Plus One while I run =0.
And on a Plus One note..he is MOVING! It's been the most amazing thing ever, seeing my stomach move and he's just bouncing around in there! My last appointment, the nurse said "wow! you have a crazy baby in there" (then again, most people I know tell me their baby is "crazy" so I think most babies are pretty active!??)...i'm doing great....I will admit, running has ceased. Here's why:
1. My legs feel like 100 pounds and just with the extra pounds, running is NOT fun
2. I started to get frustrated with my stamina (lack thereof) and decided it wasn't worth it to run/walk for 90 minutes and complete 4 miles =0.
3. Running a 12:00 minute mile.....really, I might as well just walk
So......I am proud (or slightly embarassed) to say that I walked my dogs in our new neighborhood for 35 minutes and the next day the outside of my butt absolutely KILLED. HA! So much for muscle memory =0. I will say the move knocked the crap out of me, I didn't realize that just because I wasn't lifting, that I would be wiped out. My legs and feet were throbbing by the end of the day. I didn't expect to feel this way until I was really big!
I realize now, that I can't move at warp speed like i'm used to..and it's OK...it's ok to take breaks......and just walk when I feel like it....and just to drink more water and try to just take it easy. That is very.....very difficult for me...especially when I read stories about people doing half marathons at 30 weeks pregnant.......dude, I can't even walk 2 miles without my legs/feet swelling, I can't imagine RUNNING that far at this point. I totally thought i'd be that super active pregnant woman, but i'm still active, it's just not quite the 2-3 hour training session that i'm used to!
I'm 23 weeks today and doing great!! Now that i've gotten all this off my chest i'm going to go walk!!! =0 There I said it i'm officially a "walker" and "elliptical" person...d'oh!!